Half My Morning Spent Watching The Eagle Cam

I may be a sap, but nothing quite stirs my sense of patriotism quite so much as watching the live Decorah Eagle Cam. It should be noted that I also tend to get a little teary-eyed when hearing a great rendition of “The Star Spangled Banner” as well, but there is something really special to me about watching those beautiful birds, the ultimate symbol of my country, as they carefully tend to their nest and their newly hatched babies.

Having spent many years living in a highly-populated city, about the only birds I had any regular contact with were pigeons. Upon moving to the country, I have since seen a huge variety of winged creatures, but none so spectacular, or rare for me to sight (yes, my need for glasses doesn't help) as the Bald Eagle.

I do see Bald Eagles on occasion and watching that beautiful bird as it soars through the air is the ultimate embodiment of what the word freedom means to me. Having the opportunity to view the eagles' eggs hatch gives me a sense of hope and re-birth for the country as a whole. See? I told you I was a bit of a sap.

Now that the first little beak has broken through its shell, I will be glued to the Eagle Cam, with box of Kleenex within reach, to see the awkward bundle of feathers completely emerge from its egg. It is the perfect time for me to make some plans for my gardens this year as spring seems to have settled in for the duration.

Look, I know it's taped, but...

Was there no one available to work in wardrobe to at least give the mentors on “The Voice” a couple of changes of clothing as they filmed their initial three “Battle Rounds” that aired over the last three Monday nights? I hated Christina Aguilera's rhinestone-studded, pancake-flying saucer-mini satellite dish “hat” on night one, wanted to knock it off her head a week later and really, really, REALLY despised it for the THIRD time last night!

Officially Obsessed With Dancing With The Stars

I just saw March 27th's episode of “Dancing With The Stars” for the third time, thanks to my wonderful DVR, and I am still blown away at the talent this season.

Sure, some of the celebrities are in need of some help, specifically one whose name I won't mention (it rhymes with Katrina Schmavratilova), but the vast majority are really and truly great dancers. So much so that my hopeful, the gorgeous Donald Driver, who seemed like he was a good bet going into the season, may be one of the early contestants to be eliminated. Football players have typically had great luck in the competition, but have also rarely been pitted against the talent showing this season.

Since there are no controversial notables this season, I am going to find Tuesday night eliminations especially difficult. While some of the stars hired to do the show in the past were clearly targeted for their personalities, and added a large amount of entertainment value to make up for their lack of dancing skills, we seem to have a great bunch from the start this season. All are very much people I would be happy to see do well and will be very sad to see eliminated.

And what got into judge Len Goodman to actually admit that upon watching last week's performance episode, he had made a mistake and underscored Donald Driver? Well, of course he did! Donald was great last week, but they deducted points for enthusiasm! I wish Len and the rest would have made up those points last evening, but the three eights that Donald scored were at least an improvement!

My official assessment, as someone who has never missed a single episode of Dancing With The Stars since it started:

My fave: Donald Driver – probably won't win. Unlike most of the professional football players that have appeared on the show, Donald is a relatively unknown because he leads a perfectly normal life, devoting much of his time to his cute family and helping Goodwill Industries.

I'd have a “Ones To Watch” section, but just about all would fall into that category!

Jack Wagner – Steamy soap dude from General Hospital. I'm a “Days Of Our Lives” gal so I can't vouch for his steaminess, but he does have ability, though it appears to be a bit more forced than for some of the other men.

Jaleel White – Who knew?! I guess we had a clue that the guy cleaned up well because if you ever saw any of the episodes of “Family Matters” where Jaleel played his very smooth and sexy cousin Stefan, you'd have seen the hottie America is witnessing on the dance floor now. Jaleel is great...a natural dancer and performer with just enough humility to help get the votes.

Katherine Jenkins – Could this beautiful blonde be any more perfect? She is sweet, can dance her feet off and has one of the most beautiful voices ever. Surprising to me, however, is why she did not do the UK version of DWTS. I worry that when it comes to getting votes, she will not be able to beat some of the American-born powerhouses.

Maria Menounos – Maria is teetering on the edge for me. I am almost inclined to put her into the “Super Model” dancer category even though she is an able host of TV's “Extra,” because like every super model who has made an appearance on DWTS, she is awkward. She needs to loosen up a bit to master the Latin dances and she might have a chance.

Melissa Gilbert – Who doesn't love “Half Pint” from the “Little House on the Prairie” television show? She has also been a well-respected president of the Screen Actors Guild with many other credits to her name. She looks beautiful, but like Maria Menounos, needs a few more weeks under he belt to gain a little more confidence on the dance floor.

Roshon Fegan – Requisite Disney Channel star and Disney breeds talented kids as evidenced in the past. Sadly, Disney kids only get so far on DWTS unless they have incredible personalities and huge fan bases, and while Roshon is a nice guy, I haven't seen enough personality out of him to make me think he has a chance of breaking into the top spots on the show.

Sherri Shepherd – Love or hate her opinions on “The View,” this lady makes the show fun as she openly talks about weight issues and keeps her partner, and the rest of the cast, in stitches. I happen to watch “The View” enough to know that Sherri has been dying to be on Dancing With The Stars for the longest time and it is fun watching her realize a dream. Sherri is an excellent performer and danced her way through a couple of mistakes last night without hesitation. Having access to a daily TV program will be a huge benefit to garnering votes as well.

William Levy – What can I say except YUMMY! Model, Telemundo actor, seemingly a very nice guy with loads of ability. Paired with a DWTS favorite pro, Cheryl Burke, he almost can't help but to make it into the finals.

Gavin DeGraw – Chipper, cheery pop singer you can't help but to like. Hopefully his fan base will be able to carry him through these first few weeks as he gets adjusted to dancing.

Gladys Knight – Even without the Pips, this lady rocks! But will she be able to keep up? Other older celebrities have given it a try, but very few have succeeded. She did surprise me last night when her Quick Step started out slowly enough to classify it as a Waltz, but she sped up perfectly with the music and managed to keep up throughout the number. Her fans could keep her around for a long time.

Martina Navratilova – Tennis legend, huge advocate for the LGBT communities, but not the greatest on the dance floor by any means. Participation in certain sports tends to breed some great dancers, while others, not so much. Apparently, tennis is not one of the sports to breed natural dancing ability, but she is at least getting out there and trying, for that, she gets tons of kudos from me, a survivor of the Master P season of “Dancing With The Stars.”

My Retirement Plan: Win Mega Millions $363 Million Jackpot!

It may not be the most sound financial planning, but I'm looking to fund the bulk majority of what I hope will be a very lavish retirement account, with my Mega Millions winnings. I am reasonable, however, I do not invest anything more into my lottery dreams than what I can afford to lose and I never bother even buying tickets until it is worth winning. Worth winning to me means the payout must be greater than $100 million. I mean honestly, what would anyone do with a piddly $15 or $20 million? When Mega Millions, or any of the number of other high-paying lotteries sits at their minimum, I invest my retirement funds into scratch-off lottery tickets to combine investing with a little exercise.

My husband has a 401K plan from his employer...how utterly and completely boring can you get? Every three months, he gets a large envelope in the mail filled with numbers and percentages and other really boring stuff, all accompanied by brochures featuring gray-haired people walking Golden Retrievers down tree-lined country roads. I can fall asleep just thinking about what a boring retirement those people have! Where's the excitement? Where's the fun? Where's the ping pong balls that potentially hold the difference between a comfortable retirement and one spent traveling the world on my own private jet and bathing in Armand de Brignac Midas champagne.

Okay, I will admit it, I am far too frugal to bathe in $200,000 a bottle champagne and could live with a rental jet, but after winning I would be more than happy to help out the world's economy with some serious shopping!

Am I The Only Human On Planet Earth Who Hasn't Seen “The Hunger Games?”

It's not that “The Hunger Games” doesn't look interesting, but I haven't read the book and I am one of those people who is utterly incapable of seeing a movie, that is based on a book, without having read the book first.

This can be a problem, however, when living out in the boondocks. Sure, I can get books online, but I really prefer scouring the contents of a bookstore, inhaling that lovely new book smell and having the ability to page through a book to the point that I have to buy it or risk my almost-spotless police record by stowing away in the store overnight to finish a good read.

I do have access to a public library. It is open two days a week for three hours. My shiny library card gives me the ability to request a book, that will then be imported from the “big city” library more than 100 miles away, to my location, absolutely free of charge. I checked. If I were to request “The Hunger Games” today, it could be in my hands in just 786 weeks after the 262 people on the list in front of me have finished it!

Why do I not just break down and buy a Kindle? I LIKE BOOKS! I like real books with pages I can turn and I really love the places that house lots of books, for sale or rent.

My one consolation in all this is that by the time I do make the drive to my favorite book purveyor, or the library purchases a few more copies of “The Hunger Games” so I can read it before seeing it, it should be readily available on television and I will have saved myself the $12.50 it would cost to see it in the theater.

Good Thoughts To Gallagher As He Recovers From Second Heart Attack

Awful news as one of the kitschiest comedians of our time is reported to be contemplating retirement.

I might be revealing my age with this post, but I remember seeing Gallagher at the height of his career, playing to a packed house, and I was thrilled to have front-row seating, backstage passes and plans to hit a dance club (I won't call it a disco as I am not quite that old) after the performance, almost hoping to go covered in watermelon innards.

Gallagher, better known to his family and friends as Leo Anthony Gallagher, had a heart attack on March 14^th, prior to a Dallas performance. He was put in a medically-induced coma and was just released from the hospital last week Wednesday. He suffered another heart attack yesterday, this one more minor than the first, and is currently at a hospital in Sedona recovering.

Meeting Gallagher, even briefly, revealed an extremely intelligent man who simply loved entertaining. Gallagher smashed things, plain and simple. Food that sprayed, splattered or would fly 30' feet or better, being a favorite for his “Sledge-O-Matic," as well as Hefty Bag-covered audiences everywhere. He told a few jokes, interrupted by some food slaughtering, but his greatest talent was his mastery of the big build up and knowing how to keep the crowd enthralled before the big watermelon massacre at the end of his show.

Sending good thoughts to the man who forever changed the way I look at watermelon (yes, I still crack up when perusing the selection at a salad bar and spot some of that wonderful red fruit) and best wishes for a speedy recovery.

Goodbye and Good Riddance To Ben & Courtney

Typing away as I wait for, and subsequently watch, “Dancing With The Stars.” I love the cast this year and was really impressed with the talent displayed the first week of the competition. Of course, I know that first week is not necessarily a good indicator of future performance since the celebrities have several weeks to practice and not just the one-week period when the show is underway, but honestly, I am just happy to be rid of the most recent airing of “The Bachelor” on Monday nights.

I “got” why people found “The Bachelor,” Ben Flavnik, appealing. What was not to love? Seemingly sincere, kinda-dweeby dork who had his heart broken on a previous season of “The Bachelorette.” Depending on what angle the camera caught him, I sometimes thought, “OK, he is a little cute,” but other times I thought he looked like the somewhat anorexic first cousin of the Cro-Magnon Man, without any of the appealing muscles or ability to grow a full beard. Seriously, why did he insist on sporting that stubbly growth on his face that was patchy at best, and only served to highlight his blazing red mega-zits?

But there must have been something there because he had the women falling all over themselves trying to get their roses and win Ben's love. Ben, of course, chose the evil Courtney, claiming he felt such a connection to her, especially after she ripped off her clothes and threw herself at him under the guise of some innocent skinny dipping. Only once Ben realized that that little episode might appear on the show did he seem to feel any remorse whatsoever, while Courtney gleefully continued her nasty manipulations on every other woman in the house.

So in the end, Storm Horse Cream Dreams, er, I mean Ben, landed the publicity-seeking man-eater. No doubt the relationship will last as long as ABC deems necessary for them to not have to return the lovely Neil Lane $80K engagement ring.