Donald Trump, and his hair, remained unmoved during last night's double episode of “The Celebrity Apprentice” while celebrities almost came to blows, shed some tears and had mental breakdowns while performing tasks for charity.
The first task had the celerity teams producing and selling books highlighting New York City. Dee Snider was the project manager for the men while Teresa Giudice led the ladies. Lisa Lampanelli was once again tasked with most of the actual work and we watched as Lisa started letting the volcano of emotions erupt as the majority of her team used the task as a personal photo shoot, wasting many hours and taking hundreds of shots when only a couple were necessary. Between Teresa's lack of leadership and listening to former Miss Universe Dayana's incessant and often incoherent babbling, Lisa started to crumble.
The task itself would be judged on how much money the celebrity teams could raise selling the books with an additional $35K going to the team who produced the best book, as judged by Mr. New York, Regis Philbin himself.
As usual, Donald Trump, CEO of Sh*t-Stirring, forces both project managers to name their useless and weak members prior to revealing who won the task.
Thanks to Lisa's job on the book, the ladies win the $35K bonus and that should take them well over anything the men raised, but the men still managed to pull out a win, earning $14 more than the ladies, including their $35K bonus.
It should be noted that the men could have pulled in several thousand more dollars had not Penn Jillette enlisted the help of, and donation from iconic entertainers, Blue Man Group. When Blue Man Group appeared, it is apparently against their blue religion to simply hand over a check and instead they filled a giant balloon with $10 bills. They then proceeded to inflate the balloon until it popped, and like vultures to a fresh carcass, the crowd went wild and began stuffing the bills into every available bodily orifice. The men were yelling that the money was for charity and things got too physical for Clay Aiken when he got pushed while trying to grab cash out of the hands of the fans. Penn's justification for this debacle was that Blue Man Group was not making a donation, they were simply there so anything the guys managed to grab was just a bonus.
Don't be surprised if the coming weeks brings sexual harassment suits against several of the male celebrities who were grabbing money stuffed into onlookers' underwear and bras.
Teresa chooses to bring Debbie Gibson and everyone's favorite firing nominee, Dayana, to the board room. For whatever reason, she chose not to bring Aubrey, even though Aubrey brought in the least amount of money. I thought for certain Trump would oust the Italian table flipper, but he gave Debbie Gibson the ax. Odd choice for certain.
The second task involved promoting the “Walk With Walgreens” program, but before we do anything, Trump decides the little women obviously need some help since they have lost five of the seven challenges. He takes Aubrey and Teresa and moves them to work with Arsenio, Paul Tuttle and Clay. Lisa is left with her bestie Dayana and given Dee Snider, Penn and Lou Ferigno. She seemed hopeful, especially when Penn announced he had an engagement to deal with and would be leaving soon. Penn put his nose to the grindstone and came up with a concept and script for his team to present to the Walgreen's execs, and project manager Lou was thrilled to once again not have to come up with any of the words he would be uttering.
Once Penn left, all of the work once again fell on Lisa's shoulders, except for the design of the membership kit box Walgreens would be providing to participants in the program. For such a colorful guy normally, Dee's box couldn't have been more dull.
When presentations were made, task leader Arsenio presented a game show concept to the Walgreens execs. It is well-done, but TMI, getting really dull with the facts presented. Lou's team, with the return of Penn, who flew back immediately after his engagement and was running on an hour of sleep, was far more entertaining, especially when Penn, in his sleep-deprived state, referred to the program as “Walk with Walmart.” Whoopsie....major, huge, mega, ginormous WHOOPSIE. The crowd went silent and Penn did correct himself. The box produced by Aubrey, however, was a big hit and she made certain the Walgreens execs knew she was the force behind it when she shoved it in their faces.
Aubrey also insisted on taking credit for everything in the boardroom. Arsenio had reached his breaking point and called Aubrey out for lying and for being a difficult personality that he constantly had to tame. Tears started welling up in Aubrey's eyes and when Arsenio's team was announced the winner of the task, Arsenio was bawling because he was so happy to help out his charity and Aubrey was crying because Arsenio didn't magically implode or get abducted by aliens. When they left the boardroom, Arsenio, Paul, Clay and Teresa headed for the war room suite while Aubrey went straight for the “I got fired” elevator, refusing to talk to anyone on her team.
Lou needed to choose who he would be taking to the boardroom with him. Since it has become tradition, he chose Dayana and even I was surprised by that because she definitely lived up intelligence level and creative abilities for the presentation. She put on a swimsuit and looked pretty.
Lou's other choice was Dee, whose responsibility was the design of the membership box. Dee argued that Lou was in on the design and approved everything and even though Dayana also chimed in on how ineffective Lou was as a leader and that he should go, Trump fired Dee Snider. What the heck is going on?
Previews for next week show more mental anguish and turmoil and it looks like Lisa Lampanelli may be the next to completely lose it. Aubrey is not seen in the previews, but I'm sure we haven't seen the last of her, even if she is only forced to come in and tell The Donald that she is quitting, giving him yet another opportunity to drag the “I hate quitters” speech out of his gold-plated file cabinet.
